home sweet home...unfortunately

This post is overdue. I just haven't known how to write it or where to start. I tried to talk myself out of writing it at all, telling myself that I don't owe anyone an explanation. I held off writing until I had more information, until I knew all the answers.

In September, I left to serve a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints in Philadelphia. I came home and was released on New Year's Day for medical reasons. I was sick for 12 weeks before coming home and did everything I could to stay. About 6 weeks after I left, I started blacking out as much as 15 times a day and passing out randomly, like while I was sitting in church. I went to doctors, had blood draws, and EKG, an echocardiogram, wore a heart monitor, and couldn't get the answers I needed. It was a rough decision, but everyone involved agreed that I would be able to find out what was wrong and get better faster if I were home. I came home on New Year's Day. It was decided that I probably had a genetic condition called Vasovagal Syncope, something my uncle and cousin have too. By coming home, I was able to see the same cardiologist who diagnosed and treated them, someone who is one of the leading doctors in the country regarding this condition. Since I've been home, I have seen the cardiologist and had a Tilt-table Test (I'm not even going to start describing what a horrible experience that was). I found out that I do have Vasovagal Syncope. Basically there is a communication error in my body that makes my blood pressure and heart rate plummet until my body yells "RESET" and then I pass out. The doc prescribed a heart medication to keep my blood pressure elevated. I was in the parking lot at Costco about to go pick it up when I had a realization and told my mom, "What if it's $200! No one is going to want to marry me if I have $200 heart medication!" Thankfully for my future husband, it was not that much. I also have to eat lots of salt (I now order french fries wherever I go) and no sugar. If it works and I don't pass out, then I can go back to being a missionary in Philadelphia. So now I'm just waiting for the next doctor's appointment to find out what's next.

So that's pretty much it. I loved being a missionary and I'm hoping to get back as soon as they'll let me. Until then, I'm trying to stay busy. The hardest part is not knowing how long I'll be home, but all things considering, I'm doing pretty darn good for not so good (: